


Hank Hill's Not Dead

by Hitlertheduck



Category: God's Not Dead, King of the Hill
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28264863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hitlertheduck/pseuds/Hitlertheduck
Summary: When the mean and gay professor blasphemes the name of Hank Hill, its up to the devoted follower, Josh Whedon, to prove Hank Hill's existence!
Relationships: Josh Whedon x Hank Hill





	Hank Hill's Not Dead

Josh Whedon walked into the large classroom before taking a seat in the front. It was his first year of college and he just felt that today, something special would happen. He hugged his copy of the propane bible and said a quick prayer to Hank Hill before class would begin.

The professor then walked into class all stylish and cool like before got out his microphone and began speaking to the class about what they were going to do this semester.

“Now class, before we begin, we must get one thing out of the way. The person known as Hank Hill is not real. His propane bible is all bullshit and if you believe in anything he says then that means you’re   
a stupid poopybrain with peepee opinions” said the professor as an explosion went off behind him to illustrate just how much of a total badass the professor was.

Josh Whedon couldn’t believe what he was hearing at this moment. How could someone diss the almighty emperor of propane like that? He wouldn’t stand for this and now was the time to do something about it.

Josh stood up, turned to a page in the propane bible and said “the propane bible says in Bobby 13:24 and I quote, any nigga who blastphemes the holy name of Hank Hill will get their ass kicked” 

The professor just laughed at this pathetic fuckboy’s attempts to appease his false god, in fact he laughed a bit too hard. Afterall, everyone with common sense knew that Hank Hill was just a scam created by the Chinese government to steal everyone’s churros.

The professor continued laughing for a solid 22 hours until the next day of school began and all the students walked through the door to take their seats, including that filthy STD Josh Whedon.

The professor then continued his rant “you stupid kikesucker, if your great and mighty Hank Hill is truly real then why doesn’t he just show up and prove himself?” 

That made Josh Whedon begin to cry. He cried for several minutes before he put his hands together and began praying to Hank Hill. “Oh mighty Hank Hill, I pray that you may come here and toss this nigga into the sun, amen.”

The professor began to laugh again but he stopped when the entire school began to shake and rumble. The other students began looking around to see what was happening while Josh Whedon just smirked because he knew what was happening. 

Suddenly the wall exploded and the powerful, almighty Hank Hill stepped into the room. His presence emitted a glowing orange aura, while his eyes glowed a bright flashing green color.

The professor just stood there speechless in the presence of the god before him. He then opened his mouth to speak but Hank Hill just interrupted him and said “for the crime of disrespecting one of mah most devoted followers, I’m gonna kick your ass!”

The professor then took a combat pose and said “just try it old man, I’ve been trained in your jedi arts by Count Dooku!”

The professor then jumped at Hank but Hank called upon his ancient and mystical powers of propane. This resulted in a giant propane tank falling on the professor and crushing almost every single bone in his body.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” laughed Hank Hill

The professor was still alive but just barely as he said “ok I swear my allegiance to the holy one known as Hank Hill”

Hank just began shaking his head before saying “it’s too late for apologies mister, now that I’ve kicked your ass, I’m gonna fry your ass too”

Hank then grabbed the professor and hurled him into space with all of his might. The professor screamed as he flew through the cold black void of outer space until he landed on the glowing yellow surface of the sun and screamed as his whole body melted until there was nothing left.

Hank Hill then looked at Josh Whedon and pointed at him. “You, I like you, come down here and receive your reward for being loyal to me” 

Josh did as he was told and began walking towards the god he worshipped, until he was standing in front of the great and mighty Hank Hill. 

Hank Hill then unzipped his pants, bent over Josh Whedon, and stuck his smart phone charger into Josh’s smart phone. 

I am not going to go into detail about them having sex so instead I am going to inform you of the fact that hyenas are the only animal in the animal kingdom that give birth through their penises. Now you can say you learned something educational from a fanfiction.

Josh Whedon, fell to the floor. You could see in his eyes that he was in pure ecstasy after the session he had with the great god. 

Hank Hill smiled at his follower before saying “now ah tell ya hwhat, ah now must leave the galaxy to protect mankind from the Elder God Deity known as Dale”

Hank Hill then transformed into a giant propane tank and flew into the cosmos, never to be seen again until his second coming.


End file.
